April 2017 – Page 2 – The INSIDER

Whistling D’ici!

April 17, 2017October 17, 2017 Topless John ToplessJohn0 comment

About ten years ago, I found myself the owner of a large and varied collection of objects my uncle accumulated over time. I immediately brought the three-foot long chromed truck horn (KAHOOOOOOOOOOOGA) and the 70 year old kerosene blow-torch (PFFFFFFFFFFFFT) home with me. Stuff like that, you can’t find it unless you’re really, really lucky. My uncle told me the blow-torch belonged to my grandfather and it’s a direct piece of my family’s history (but he’s such a liar, I really don’t believe him) – now in my safe-keeping; I…

Entertainment

Why Bob Clark’s Baby Geniuses Should Be Hailed as a Modern Masterpiece

April 15, 2017 June Rossaert April Fools, Review0 comment

What is a masterpiece? One might come to ponder. Cinematically, one might point to films such as Orson Welle’s Citizen Kane, or Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. Both have their own personal merits, but might I suggest a different approach, a film oft overlooked: Baby Geniuses. The premise of the film is a simple one. A faculty of scientists uncover that babies are born with vast knowledge of the universe, and can communicate through an otherwise indecipherable language, Babytalk, which they lose once they reach toddler age and…

Arts

A Band Called The Electric Thumbs

April 14, 2017 June Rossaert April Fools, June Rossaert0 comment

Three young men in flashing outfits Six chords over four Pretentious smiles, oh what misfits! The lights dim, the crowds quiet And a true horror Cynics petition in half a tormented riot Why oh why would my son lend a hand To this crappy rock and roll band? Written By: June Rossaert

News

Microwaves at Vanier want your personal information*

April 14, 2017 BeNjamyn Upshaw-Ruffner Fake News0 comment

It was a wintery springtime day at Vanier, it happened last week; a student discovered that the microwaves in Vanier College were spying on all of us. Isaac Dinotno, a student at Vanier, came to us to comment: “I know we always suspected that those machines were suspicious, but now, things are just getting out of hand!” Dinotno started. We asked how Dinotno was able to determine that the microwave was spying on him: “It was so spooky man! When I pressed the 2 button, the microwave knew right away…

Sports

Not Again!

April 13, 2017 newspaper April Fools0 comment

This just has to be the biggest nightmare for the Montreal Canadians. With the playoffs starting in a week, the Montreal Canadians are looking to secure their 25th Stanley Cup in franchise history. They have had a strong rebound this year compared to last season, finishing first in the Atlantic division, even with the big coaching change and the addition of five new players, one of them being enforcer Steve Ott, who has been a quiet, but very nice addition to the squad. So where does this nightmare come out…

Arts Voices

Chuck Palahniuk

April 12, 2017October 17, 2017 Topless John ToplessJohn0 comment

At first glance, Chuck Palahniuk is just some guy who used to work on a truck assembly line and got lucky with a mondo big book about guys beating each other up, starting a gang and completely getting out of control. Every person I know who’s heard of Fight Club, but not watched it, thinks it’s about fighting. Without looking at his work, Chuck Palahniuk easily gets pegged as a grown up high school bully who got lucky. But that’s sooooooo wrong. Chuck’s body of work elicits your most sensitive…

News

Federal By-election Debate

April 10, 2017 newspaper 0 comment

Who should I vote for?… … the NDP… the local candidate didn’t speak a word of English during his time on stage. Well, just a little in the last five minutes, really. He was apologetic about it when I spoke to him afterward – he said his French is much better than his English, although our conversation went well in his second language. Green?… he’s the scrappiest of the bunch; definitely has his heart in it… but won’t they get tired of him being so earnest? The Liberals have the…

Print Issue Archives (PDF)

April 9, 2017April 9, 2017 newspaper 0 comment

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Campus

Speak Up Slam Poetry Competition Results

April 8, 2017 newspaper Cegep, Poetry, Student0 comment

Thursday, March 30th the night of the Vanier Speak Up competition. The night was filled with many memorable, heart warming, gut wrenching and innovative poems. Performed, rapped and delivered passionately by our contestants. A poetry slam or spoken word competition involves participants performing their original poems and then being judged on them to find three winners. They can be in teams of up to five people or alone. Music instruments are also accepted to enhance the performance. The performance is judged by the enthusiasm and delivery of its participants taking…

Arts Voices

Salah and family’s Steelpan Band

April 7, 2017April 7, 2017 newspaper Music, Vanier0 comment

On Thursday, the 23rd, Jake’s Mall was brightened by the sound of three members of the “Salah & Family Steelpan Band”. The trio played for about ninety minutes, and most of the songs they performed were modern-day pop and well-known, well-loved recent classics. If you were there, you would have recognized “Waka Waka” (by Shakira), and “Hold You” (by Gyptian), amongst at least a dozen songs. You can watch the trio playing Waka Waka on YouTube: http://tinyurl.com/SalahTrioWakaWaka The three people who played for us are all members of Salah’s band,…