It was a wintery springtime day at Vanier, it happened last week; a student discovered that the microwaves in Vanier College were spying on all of us.
Isaac Dinotno, a student at Vanier, came to us to comment: “I know we always suspected that those machines were suspicious, but now, things are just getting out of hand!” Dinotno started.
We asked how Dinotno was able to determine that the microwave was spying on him: “It was so spooky man! When I pressed the 2 button, the microwave knew right away that I wanted to heat my food for two minutes… As if that wasn’t scary enough, it started beeping when my food was done. Now how did it know that!? …. The government’s definitely using to spy on us” Dinotno uttered.
The brave student went on to explain his highly scientific method for determining that the Microwaves are being utilized as espionage devices: “Well, a colleague of mine stated that these microwaves were spying [on us], so naturally I felt it was happening… I found out he was repeating what he heard somebody else say on TV… so it had to be [fact]” Dinotno explained.
Seeing as how the Microwaves at Vanier can learn how long you want your food heated, there seems to be nothing stopping them from discovering your personal info either.
*Be careful out there, readers! Stay away from fake news!
Written By: BeNjamyn Upshaw-Ruffner