Project: Mickey Mouse
Hello my friends, V here, and I have returned from a long hiatus. I have decided to take a step back from the animal kingdom in order to draw attention to more pressing matters, specifically the political situation of the world.
Don’t worry, I won’t be talking about Donald Trump very much. I’m sure you are all incredibly tired of hearing about that fool. In fact, what I am about to tell you goes deeper than just the president of the United States. Everyone in the White House is in on this conspiracy, as well as every U.S. government agency. I am talking about Project: Mickey Mouse.
I must admit, this is not an entirely new idea; this theory was coined by a YouTuber known as Mr. Panos, a comedian who is known for imitating a stereotypical old Greek man. I genuinely think he is not joking, though, and if he is, he does not know that he is absolutely right.
For those who do not know, Project: Mickey Mouse is just Disney. However, that is just something they call it to pay homage to their diabolical founder, Walt Disney. You see, Project: Mickey Mouse is an elaborate plan created by the United States government when leisure society first blew up. They are creating what the world sees as perfect people, in order for people to become celebrities, and distract everyone from the more serious issues of the world. This was Mr. Panos’ initial idea; but upon further research and much thinking, it seems clear to me now that their goals go far beyond simply distracting people. Let me explain why.
Project: Mickey Mouse has created many celebrities in the past. For example, according to Mr. Panos, they created all of your favourite celebrities, such as Justin Timberlake (left), Ryan Gosling (right), Christina Aguilera, Justin Bieber, and many others. I think they also created the Kardashians, for obvious reasons. Why do you think all these celebrities look the way they do? That’s because they were created in a petri dish. Moreover, they say that most of these celebrities are “Canadian” (again, according to Mr. Panos). This is clearly false. This is just a cover-up by Project: Mickey Mouse in order to avert attention from the fact that their ‘home’ is an underground lab in Orlando, Florida. Again, take Justin Timberlake for example: he can sing, he can dance, he looks good, he is athletic, and, if the picture here didn’t raise any red flags, he bears a STRIKING resemblance to Ryan Gosling. Coincidence? I think NOT. But here is where Mr. Panos didn’t go far enough. Project: Mickey Mouse doesn’t simply want to distract you from the bigger issues. No, they are hell-bent on world domination.
Now, I’m sure you’re asking, “But V, why would Disney want to take over the world?” Well, I’ll tell you. Project: Mickey Mouse wants to create a society of perfect people. They are making celebrities in their laboratories to distract people from their true intentions, and to impose an idea of a ‘perfect human image’ in order for people to want to live like celebrities. Next, with the money they have, they plan to own everything in the world, which is in fact happening right now. Disney has already bought Star Wars, Marvel and Fox Entertainment. Who knows what’s next? Then, their ‘celebrities’ infiltrate these corporations and become major characters in movie franchises, in order for the fans to become loyal to them and to want to become like them. And the more entertainment grows, the more people will be fooled, and by then it will be too late.
If you think this seems far-fetched, then let’s use our common sense, my friends. Why do Project: Mickey Mouse only have bases in the United States? Of course, they need to be in close proximity with home base, which is the U.S. government and its agencies. However, more importantly, they also needed to start their plan in the home of capitalism, where people want to live like celebrities more than anywhere else in the world. Even better: why do you think there are underground tunnels in every one of their bases? So the costumed employees can travel faster? Nonsense. This is also a cover-up; they clearly have underground labs, in which they create the celebrities we have all unfortunately come to know and love. And by the way, some celebrities do go rogue, but they pay the price, and lose their careers.
My friends, Project: Mickey Mouse’s plan is unfortunately working. Everywhere in the world, we see the influence of Project: Mickey Mouse and their dastardly plans. They are dangerously close to dominating the world. However, they are in danger of being defeated, kind of like the Roman Empire, as their leader is a bit cooky, to say the least. But don’t take that for granted. Don’t forget, the President himself is a celebrity. Think about that.
That is all for this time, my friends, and remember, if you don’t hear from me again, you know what has happened, and what is yet to come.
*The information related in this article is fictitious, for entertainment and comedic purposes. Any similarity to real events is merely coincidental.