Love letter to my enemy
I hate you
A bit much, isn’t it?
I hate you
Hate only burdens the hater. And yes, God, how it weighs me down. It’s not fair for you to use me when it’s convenient and ignore me when it’s not. To make me anxious for the entire fucking evening and not have the decency to tell me that you’re busy. I hate how I don’t say anything because you feel like “I freak out” when I do. You don’t have to go out of your way to make me feel safe. But you do make me feel like a piece of shit. I cried myself into a river, and you don’t deserve a single drop of it.
I hate you
I am not a commodity you can talk to when it works in your schedule. Existing only through your perception and dead anytime else.
I hate you
I drowned in that river you created, but I would do it all over again so I could breathe for a second. You’re an amazing person. And I sincerely believed every single word I’ve uttered. Every time I said you were incredible and smart. Every time I hyped you up and told you I was proud of you. I’m glad we got to discuss, found new perspectives, and lived out of my echo chamber. I’m really grateful to you.
I hate you
For the way you made me feel and the things you did. But mostly for the things you didn’t do. Life is sometimes a cruel joke. Deals bad cards.
I hate you
Behind “I hate you” resonates even louder, “I love you.” I would much rather you hate me for what I did than forget me for who I am. I can only be happy for all that you brought me. For our late-night conversations and the way you smiled, telling me I’m ridiculous.
I hate you
You will forever have a place in my heart. I will see you in the movies you love, in your favourite colour, in the dogs that look like yours, and in the brightness of the stars.
I hate you
Hate is easier than love. Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is to let them go.
I hate you.
By Emma Bazzocchi
