A Poem on Addiction: Paint Thinner
My heart murmurs with the hum of cicadas
I’m on fire the way they made us
I spin in circles around and around again
Huff down the air as the screams begin
I’m unstoppable as I ride this night bus
My fingertips graze along stars as my eyes set upon mars
I’m flying above, walking along the cusp
The cracks upon the pavement fall from beneath
The descent of chemicals calls from Hell’s gates
I am nothing, I am forced to wait
“I’ve come close so many times,” I said
Please let there be someone watching from overhead
Fingertips ripping off my skin to bare a soul empty with cracks in its foundation
Morals gone; values withdrawn
My words act as weapons, betraying my truth
They come at a speed unknown and with the spite of youth
None to hold me in this time
All to kick me, my body warping without a spine
Grasping at memories, clutching on your words
The best damn things I’ve ever heard
They dance around my eyes to show a world
A world my body used to know
A world of truth, where morals ruled actions
A world of love where values formed passions
A world of reason where justice was served
And all fell victim to the lonely word
Addiction.
Breathe in, breathe out
Hear my rasp hear my doubt
This is the holy comedown
It’s the spire they built us
We slide down it
“You have to stay in focus”
I heard it over and over in my head
Yet somehow in my vision the words blurred and bled
Close your eyes and feel your truth
The feeling of a burning youth
I never bore, I never tire
It’s the way they made us
I’m on fire.
By Maia Fukuyama
