Advice Column – March 2023
Q: I have a crush on this person and they fit all the criterias for my type. However I’m too scared to talk to them. It’s soon the end of the semester, is it worth it or not?
A: Yes, it is worth talking to the person! You should definitely talk to them, let them get to know you more and maybe both of you can make plans to hang out over the summer. It can seem difficult at first to approach and talk to the person you like, but you should give it a try. In life, most people aren’t able to find people who fit their criterias of an ideal partner, so if you think you have met someone who does fit all of your criteria, for a person who is your type, you should give it a shot and try talking to them. If things don’t work out, then you have summer break to find someone who you do like and who also likes you back too. But also, if things do work out between you and your crush, then you have summer break to spend time with each other.
Q: I feel like I’ve been struggling so badly since the beginning of the semester to keep myself afloat and it’s just dragging me down so bad. I can’t eat, sleep or do anything really anymore. My mental health is hanging on by a thread and I don’t know how to open up about it without trauma dumping on people. Is there any way I can deal with feeling like this by myself to get out of this funk I’m in?
A: Firstly, I am so sorry to hear that and I hope you are okay. When your mental health is impacting this much on your life, you should ask for help. Vanier Student Services offer mental health services: to be registered in the counseling center, you need to drop by C-203 or email intake@vaniercollege.qc.ca for a triage appointment with one of the intake technicians. Included in your VCSA student health insurance plan, you have access to Empower Me/Dialogue to connect with qualified counselors online. The second way is faster and it is online (through calls), which can be less intimidating. For more information on how to register, you can consult this website: https://www.vaniercollege.qc.ca/student-services/counselling-centre/ . If you don’t want to seek help for whatever reason(s) and want to open up to the people around you without trauma dumping, you can always ask beforehand if they are comfortable with you venting to them. You can also try to seek help from older people around you; a family member you trust, a teacher you feel comfortable opening up to or even a coworker. Healthy coping mechanisms are always helpful, such as journaling, breathing exercises or listening to music. Limiting your consumption of sad content can also be helpful (such as sad music or watching sad content; these can make you feel worse). Mental health issues can make life seem like an endless cycle of negativity, but getting better always starts with wanting to get better. And remember that your feelings are always valid and that you are worthy and not alone.
Q: How do I know which university to choose that will be best for me?
A: You can start by looking for universities that offer the programs you are interested in. For example, some universities are better suited for certain programs than others. You should also think about whether you want to study in English or French and if you want to study abroad. You can also look at the university campus, the students studying there, and the values that universities promote. During the application period, you should apply to 2-5 universities to have multiple choices. If you got your results and are hesitating between different universities, you should go with your instinct. Where do you see yourself studying ? You can always ask other people’s opinions, and consult the rankings. As someone who is indecisive, I like to use an online wheel spinner to choose for me and if I am unsatisfied with the result, then I know what decision I really want to make. Pros and cons lists can also help. Good luck!
Q: If I am interested in two different career paths, how do I choose which one I should pursue as a future career?
A: You could look into where the two options are alike and where their differences are. Seeing this should hopefully help you understand what your preferences are. Pros and cons lists can also be especially helpful in being able to visualize what you are thinking. But at the end of the day, even if you are unsure of what you end up picking, you can always give it a shot and change paths if you don’t believe it is for you.
Q: Hello, I am a girl and am madly in love with this guy. I truly have never felt this way about anyone and I want to be with him. I don’t think just telling him is the right move, in other words I am trying to get him to fall for me. What should I do?
A: Situations like this can get complicated very fast, because emotions aren’t something that are easy to handle when it comes to love. The concept of getting someone to fall in love with you has never been easy for most people, what I would say though, is to let him get to know you more. The more he knows you and the more you let him get to know you, you guys can become really close with each other. Then perhaps he would also love you the way you love him. If it turns out that he doesn’t love you back for who you are, you should move on. Life is too short to be wasted on people who don’t appreciate you for who you are.
Q: Hi I am currently in the Special Care Counseling program, but I am really interested in the Nursing program. However, if I switch out of the Special Care Counseling program and go into Nursing, it would add extra semesters for me at Vanier. So I would like to ask, if it is worth switching programs?
A: This is entirely up to you. Are you willing to switch into the Nursing program and study at Vanier for a couple more semesters ? If you are interested enough in nursing and feel like you see yourself doing something related to that in the future, then go for it. It is better to switch now then to finish your program and realize that you would’ve preferred something else. The most important thing is that you do something you love.
Q: I would like to move out and have my own place, but I find it difficult to find a place that is close to Vanier. The situation stresses me out, what should I do?
A: You can always find a roommate with whom to share a bigger apartment in the area or you can find a place a bit further away and buy a monthly STM pass. Even if you have an hour or so commute, you can listen to podcasts on your way, music too, and if you will be using the metro it can be a great place to study too.
