Adrift
Yesterday’s music really helped me. I feel well-rested today, and I’m ready to get to work. The classroom was empty; I’m the only one here. Through the windows, I could see many budding plants outdoors. It was late afternoon outside, but in my mind the day was just getting started. As the sun anxiously awaited its departure over the horizon, I was feverishly regarding a horizon of my very own. This horizon of mine made me feel euphoric. Something kept gnawing at my self-awareness, however, I was adrift within contemplation, and did not feel forlorn. I began contemplating time. I felt as though I was a different person now compared to who I was any amount of time ago. I remembered, very nostalgically I might add, my time in Europe. “I posses those memories, but the person who is me at that point in time is actively living that experience. I envy him. It’s too bad he doesn’t know me. He sure has made an impact on who I am today. Perhaps there is a future version of myself that would make even that past me jealous. I’ll see to it that such a person comes into existence.” I considered all of this. I felt as though I’d been pondering for several months. The sunlight coruscated through the windows, and drenched the classroom with a soft orange glow. It contrasted the light blue walls quite nicely. The room had an certain ambiance to it when no one else was inside. The stress and monotony of daily life melted away. I was more enthusiastic when it came to endeavors that occurred less frequently. Through my willpower, I was tasked with the overwhelming ability to exercise a degree of control over when, and where such endeavors was to take place. “So much freedom!” I thought out loud. There was a mirror at one end of the room. I espied my reflection and analysed it prudently. Who was that young man in the mirror? I knew his name; it was Isaac Dinotno. If nothing else, I was certain of this. My reflection was looking back at me with the same focused gaze. “If one could not fathom the concept of reflections, perhaps they would mistake us for two separate entities attempting to comprehend one another. Such a notion would not be far from the mark. All sentient beings must constantly piece together the puzzles that they inherently are.” I mused on. This road leading toward self-discovery was, at one point, daunting. That was until I found the part of my life that would quell my anxieties and makes me feel comfortable and happy. “I believe that everyone can find this in their lives. It may be an object, an activity, or a person. One must simply have the confidence to look”, I told myself. I looked at the time on my phone and discerned a notification. My class had been canceled. “Well this was a waste of time!” I thought. But I then reminded myself that I could not waste time. “As time elapses, thoughts occur within me; these thoughts are the building blocks of the actions that will in turn aid me in becoming a better version of myself”, I uttered as I envisaged such a self. I checked my phone again. There was a text message. “That’s great!” I thought. I departed the classroom, leaving the mirror alone in the now physically vacant space as I exuberantly wondered what tomorrow’s music class would be. Much like myself, this mirror was now alone with the thoughts of mine that filled the room. Unfortunately for the mirror though, it will not grow into a new person with every passing moment. I reviewed the classroom space hastily one last time to insure I did not forget anything, and noticed that one of the plants outside had bloomed, producing beautiful flowers. I did not say good bye to my reflection; I knew that I would see Isaac again.
Written By: BeNjamyn Upshaw-Ruffner
April 2016
